


A Method to His Madness

by theatreheathen



Category: Arkham Asylum (Comics), Harley Quinn (Comics)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-07-29 20:43:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7698757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theatreheathen/pseuds/theatreheathen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wrote this tears ago, but I just wasn't very crazy about it. Yet, in light of the new movie, I took a look at it, changed a few things and I'm pretty happy with it. I'm hoping that people who decide to give this a read are happy with it and continue to do so. This is a story that takes place before Harley, becomes Harley and focuses on her falling for the Joker. Let me know what you think!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tape 1

"Ay! Come on 'arleen! Dollface, I can't wait all day for ya!"

 

A taxi cab horn pushed Harley to move faster as she stuck her feet into her heels. She held her bags as she balanced on one foot and fixed the heel with her index finger. She hurriedly checked to see if she had all of her things. She took a deep breath and made her way out of her apartment. From her door she saw the taxi waiting, she waved at the driver and made her way to the curb. Once inside she was greeted with Henry's words while she opened up her briefcase and pulled out a file.

 

"Jeez 'arley, you're killing me." The car pulled away and began to merge into the existing traffic. "Ya' lucky I was ya' father's friend or ya'd never make it on time anywhere."

 

Harley chuckled as she flipped through the papers in her file. "Ha, I love you too Henry."

 

"So, where is it that we're heading to today, you said it was different."

 

Harley bit her lip and looked up. "Well, it's still to arkham island, just to a different part of the island. I have to go to Arkham."

 

"Oh, Arkham, big shot I see." He shrugged. "Whatchya' doin' over there for?"

 

Harley glanced up from the file in her lap and peered over her glasses. "Oh, today is my first day with a criminally insane patient, my first real deal interview."

 

"Hmm, that's excitin'." He glanced back at her through the rear view mirror. "Just tell me that you are at least goin' to be safe. If I eva' let anything happen to ya, you're parents would come back and kill me."

 

"Yeah, yeah, I know." She shook her head, while pushing up her glasses on her nose. "I'll be fine, I've been reading over the subjects file for months, not to mention that I've been studying other mentally unstable subjects similar to this one. There are guards all over the place...I'll be fine Henry." She looked back down at her file.

 

"Alright, alright. I believe ya'."

 

Harley kept her eyes down on her file, she was stress reading and she knew it. She enjoyed that Henry was talking to her, and giving her a distraction. However they were driving for a while without saying anything. She only broke away from her reading when she heard Henry curse. Her attention was pulled to look through the front window, seeing the stop light up ahead and the busy traffic around them. 

 

She sighed, laughing nervously. "The perks of living in New York."

 

Henry chuckled. "Yeah, it's just peachy."

 

Harley shrugged. "Hey, no one ever said you had to be a taxi driver. Remember when I told you, you could be a policeman."

 

"Hey, I'm just fine serving my civic duties in this cab right here." He rubbed the meter and laughed.

 

"At least you don't take your civil duties into your own hand like that...that night vigilante." She paused. "What's his name?"

 

"Oh, the big bat. Ya mean to say Batman?"

 

"Yes, that lunatic. Who's to say Henry, Gotham’s best taxi driver is not the caped crusader?"

 

Henry chuckled deeply, his head tilting back. "How are you going to call him the lunatic?" 

 

He shook his head. "I thought the lunatic's were the guys you like to study?"

 

Harley sighed and shook her head, closing her file, and glancing out the window. "No, the Batman is nothing like the subjects that I study."

 

"Alright you're the doc'."

 

They stayed quiet for some time while they slowly moved through the traffic. She glanced at her watch and chewed on her inner cheek. If this traffic didn't clear, she'd be late on her first day.

 

"So, Harleen," Henry began and Harley bit harder into her cheek. He always used her full name when he was serious. "When do I get to meet this fiancé of yours?"

 

"You'll meet him…" She said vaguely.

 

Henry tisked and shook his head. "Hey babygirl, you ain't getting away with this."

 

"Oh, I don't know what you mean Henry…" She tired to play if off.

 

"Well that's just too bad." He chuckled and drove ahead as the traffic started to move faster. 

 

"Anyways, you and ya' fiancé are going to come ova' to my house and you'll have dinner with me and Maggie. No boy is going to snatch up my niece without uncle Henry meetin' the little punk."

 

Harley raised her brow. "Well if you call him a little punk, I don't think he'll be so inclined to want to come over. How am I supposed to convince him you’re my uncle, I told him my parents didn't have any siblings."

"Ay, you're the shrink, play with his head, you'll get 'em to do it." He didn't let her speak before he began again. "Now, you'll come over on saturday night at seven, we'll cook ya' dinner and get to know each other."

 

The cab finally pulled up to the entrance of the Asylum, and he stopped the car. He leaned back to look at her and he smiled.

 

"It'll be harmless, okay? Now, get outta here before ya' late."

 

Harley smiled and listened to him, and before she got out of the cab she grabbed her wallet. Henry spoke up to stop her.

 

"No, I got this one 'arley, don't worry about it."

 

Harley sighed, she hated when he did things like that. But, she just nodded. "Okay Henry, I'll pay you back somehow, I swear."

 

"Whatever you say kiddo, now get outta here." He waved her off. "And good luck."

 

Harley just nodded and exited the cab, and watched it drive off. It only took her just a moment to realize that she was very late. She checked her watch and then scurried over to the security box next to the gate. The blond female explained who she was and why she was there. They simply called other guards on a radio and she waited anxiously. It only took a few minutes but to her stress it felt like hours. How on earth would it look if she was more than ten minutes late on her first day? She got into the car that came to transfer her to the actual asylum doors, past the security gates.. Again, the few minutes it took just made her stomach churn with worry. She took deep breaths and picked at her nails, a very bad and old habit. She glanced at the guards that were with her in the back and they both glanced at each other. It was quiet till one of them spoke up.

 

"Not to be rude miss but, my partner here wanted to know, what's a woman, like yourself doing at arkham, huh?"

 

Harley quit playing with her nails and she offered a smile. "Psychiatric doctor…I'm here for an important interview."

 

The two guards nodded and the other spoke up.

 

"Just be careful okay? These criminals would eat you right up if you try to stray by yourself."

 

The first guard hit the him in the arm. "Hey, Garcia, don't scare the lady."

 

He glanced back and her as the van came to a stop. "Don't worry, you'll have guards with you the whole time you're here, you won't be in any danger. I promise, Mrs. Quinzell."

 

"Thank you...um, what's your name?"

 

He moved to show his badge on his uniform. "It's Anderson, uh, Jason Anderson."

 

After her told her his name, the other guard pulled him out of the van.

 

"Come on Romeo."

 

Jason motioned for her to get out as well and assisted her out. The guard called Garcia tisked at her as she stepped down.

 

"You wore heels, you'll have to take those off." He glanced her over fully as they walked towards the entrance. "Oh, you'll have to take off a lot of things."

 

Jason rolled his eyes as he lead her into the door. "Don't worry, they'll just keep them until you're done. If you’re going to be here regularly, you may want to think otherwise."

 

The two guards led her through security. They checked everything she had and made her walk through a metal detector. It made her stomach turn even more, it was wasting so much time. After the search, she was allowed her things back and was able to move on with the two guards. They lead her down a few halls and then they came across another set of guards and two doctors. The male doctor spoke first.

 

"Hello, Mrs. Quinzell, I'm doctor Fisher, this is doctor Cassidy."

 

"Hello, I’m sorry I'm so late, the traffic was terrible. I know it's no excuse but I really had no control over it and...and the security took a while with being new and all."

 

Doctor Cassidy just smiled and offered her a white lab coat and name tag she had in her arms. "You're just fine, we wouldn't have let you go in right away, we want to make the subject wait."

 

Harley took the coat and slipped it on, and then clipped the tag onto the pocket. She was relieved that they were not going to make a deal of her being late. She gave her bag to Garcia, as Dr. Fisher instructed. Then they gave her a pair of flats to replace her heels.

 

"We'll let you go inside first and then guards will bring him in. Anderson will be in the room the whole time with you, in case he's needed. We're sure you'll be just fine with this subject."

 

Harley looked at Jason and then noded. "Alright, thank you." 

 

She took her file and a clipboard and stepped into the small room. She sat down at the chair and glanced over the information in front of her. She watched as Jason stood behind her. She was left to wait, left to feel the many butterflies fluttering around in her stomach. She glanced at the recorder on the table and pressed record.

 

"This is interview one, Doctor Quinzell interviewing subject patient 9618."

 

After she said this, she seemed to all of a sudden feel extremely confident, all her worry faded. Even when she heard the door open and watched two guards come in to sit the subject down, she straightened her back and adjusted her glasses. She let the two guards leave and she nodded to the man sitting across from her.

 

"Hello, subject 9618…" She glanced down at the file and glanced back up. "I'm Dr. Quinzell, I'll be having these interviews with you from now on after what you did to the previous doctor."

 

The subject laughed, a peculiar laugh and she looked up at him. His laugh alone sounded like that of a madman, it almost gave chills up her spine. She however kept talking.

 

"Okay, so we're going to start with something that I've found very interesting, something that I've been wanting to ask you. That is, why do you go by this name...the name of The Joker?"

 

"Well you see, my father drank my...and well, mommy couldn't stay away from the devils lettuce."

 

He began and Harley's eyes started taking in everything, just like she was taught. If you couldn't assess your patient within the first eight seconds, you didn't belong here. The blonde peered from the top of her glasses. "I didn't ask how your parents raised you."

 

The male giggled. "Of course you didn't!" He shrugged his shoulders. "However, I just assumed that we'd get to it eventually. I mean this is how they all go. Tell me your name...blah, blah, blah. Did your father touch you? Did someone else touch you? Did anyone abuse you? We're you sad?" He rolled his eyes, an odd expression with his lips stuck in a smile.

 

"Well, that, is what an interview is...9618."

 

"Oh don't be so formal dollface! Call me Joker, no, no wait. Hmmm, you, you can call me...Mr. J." The man beamed, even more if that was possible.

 

"Alright, that's all I need for today, we'll continue these daily, sometimes not. We'll see."

 

Harley began to pack her papers and then reached over to stop the recorder. However, when the patient banged his arms on the table, did she pause.

 

"No!" He grunted, his high pitched humorous voice turning into a deep growl.

 

Harley adjusted her glasses as she felt the tension grow in the room, the guard behind her on edge. She just sighed, as if it hadn't affected her. She just moved her hand and took her clipboard under her arm.

 

"See, perfect time to leave." She nodded. "I'll see you again, 9618."

 

She watched as the guards held the man back while he tried to throw a fit, grunting and whining that she couldn't leave yet, that the interview wasn't done yet. Harley simply let herself exit the room, knowing that Garcia was right behind her. Once outside of the room she found herself leaning on the wall, letting out all of the air it seemed she had held in her lungs. Holy crap, how did she just pull that off? She glanced up at the sound of murmuring. It was he doctors, Fisher and Cassidy. She tilted her head at them, oh god she had messed up, hadn't she? They motioned for her to come along with them.

 

"Come on, let's get out of here, so they can get him out of the room, detain him." Dr. Fisher chuckled. "He seems to like you, he's very excited."

 

"Yes, we've never seen him respond to someone like that before." Dr. Cassidy shook her head, then waved her hand. "Come on dear, let's go to the lab for a moment, discuss your work here."

 

As Harley walked down the hall, still thinking that somehow she had messed up, she felt a slight nudge in her side. Her eyes trailed up from her feet to the guard, Garcia. The male had a big smile on his lips.

 

"Dang Harls, I've never seen anyone get to Jokes like that." He shook his head. "Usually he's the one who cracks the doc, not the other way around." He shrugged. "Boy will they want you to stick around for sure…"

 

Harley's heart raced at this information. She'd done well? She had actually gotten progress from him on the first visit? The blond didn't have too much time to linger in her thoughts before the doctors lead her into a small lab room. They turned to her and started to gush.

 

"We've never seen him respond to an interviewer that way, he's always closed up and asking questions to avoid the questions asked by the doctors." Cassidy shook her head. "I can't believe you got him to respond with just one question. How long have you been studying this subject?"

 

"Don't mind how long she has, she could step into a room completely unaware of a subject and right away get the answers she needs. She’s fantastic and I think she's the perfect full time doctor for subject 9618. He's a handful and we've finally gotten a reason to throw him into isolation for a few weeks because of her." Dr Fisher went on, only looking to Cassidy, as if Harley wasn't in the room.

 

That's when Garcia decided to speak up because Harley was just standing there, playing with the pocket of the lab coat they had given her at the beginning.

"So she's going to be Jokes knew shrink?"

 

After Garcia's helpful words, the two doctors ended their back and forth banter and turned to look right at Harley. The two offered a smile, Cassidy speaking up with a congratulatory outstretched hand to shake.

  
"Welcome to the team Dr. Quinzel."


	2. Tape 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley's second meeting with the joker. How will it go?

It took two weeks before Harley was allowed to interview the joker once more. They wanted to keep him in the isolation room for what would be for him, a long time. Again, they emphasized to her that she did great and that they needed an excuse to stick him in the room. He was learning his lesson. While she waited patiently, she was allowed to shadow some of the other doctors while they treated other criminals. Wait, no, they were subjects here. If you called one of them the wrong name they could end up going off the deep end, or well, even further into the deep end.

 

As Harley got ready, she couldn't help but think that the day could be deemed special. Today she was allowed to interview The j- subject 9618 and afterwards she was finally going to let Henry and his wife, have dinner with her and her fiance, Guy. His office called saying, that his client, who was booked for the whole day, couldn't see Guy because their child was sick. It pleased Harley because it was one of the rare times the two were home at the same time. It was bittersweet that she had to work.

Harley finished getting ready, letting her mind think about Guy. He'd been her friend for years, he'd gone through the worst with her, he was with her every step of her grieving over her parents. The two met in law school, where Harley had planned her future, but then changed her study to psychology. The two still remained inseparable. Meeting up for lunch, go to a party or have a movie and ice cream night when one of them went through a bad breakup - mostly on Harley's side. Then after their Junior year, the two were single and Guy surprised her with a two bedroom loft he'd bought for them to room in. 

After they graduated, they began to date. Slowly but surely years passed and he proposed at least five times. Harley took about a year and half before she finally said yes. Now the two had been happily engaged together for five months. However, Guy was usually away working in the office with a client when Harley was home. When he was home, Harley was dealing with a subject that had a meltdown. As she tucked her hair up in a bun, she heard Henry's typical call.

 

"'Arley!" His rough new york accent followed by the taxi's honk.

 

She stepped into flats and hurried out of her bedroom. After she grabbed her bags and her coffee she gave a quick peck on her fiance's lips and dashed for the door. However, a grunt escaped as she was stopped by his arms around her waist. She giggled lightly.

 

"Sweetie, I have to go. If I don't get down there, Henry will either come up here or leave me!" She playfully thumped his chest. "And I hope for your sake, it's the latter!"

 

Harley felt his lips onto the top of her head and his sigh. "You couldn't have called in sick?"

 

"No, no I can't. This is a big day for me, again."

 

"Oh, and spending all day with your future husband isn't?"

 

"I didn't say that, but really I have to-" Two honks of a horn interrupt her words and she looked up at the man she loved. "See, I've got to go." She leaned up on her tip toes, pecking the male's lips once more. "I'll see you tonight, and you've got all day to dress up. You better start now."

 

As she wiggled out of his grasp, she took a sip from her coffee cup and glanced back as she opened the door to leave. She shook her head with a slight grin as she walked away, hearing him holler after her.

 

"I'm a lawyer, looking good is my job!"

 

The smile stayed on Harley's lips as she got into Henry's cab. Which then began the verbal assault of questions from the protective male.

 

“Where did that smile come from? You never smile for me like that. Was it that fiance of yours? Hm, maybe, and just maybe he is worth keeping around here if he can make you smile.”

 

Harley smacked his headrest lightly and shook her head, her smile dulling just slightly. The rest of the ride to Arkham, Henry kept talking and asking questions, mentioning his wife and all sorts of things that Henry usually talked about every morning. The blonde just listened, responding with a few nods of her head or sighs or "Uh hums". Sipping on her coffee, hoping it would not only wake her up but keep her on edge having to deal with the subject today. Not that she can't take it, but before she walked into the room, she was a mess. Yet, when she's sitting across from the man in orange, his cuffs and the guards keeping him at bay, Harley felt a sense of power. Like she is better than the crazed male across from her, that the two will never be on the same playing field. She was a normal middle class girl on her way to becoming a well known psychiatrist if things kept going the right way here at arkham. He, was a man that killed and other unmentionable things. He was a puzzle, missing the last piece. The brain damaged he received from a crucial moment in his life, she had to solve, it was the piece she needed to find.

The cab pulled up and Henry had to snap Harley out of it before she began to climb out of the cab. Though he kept saying he'd stop having her not pay for her rides, he again rejected the money she stuck through the window. At this point, with having the few weeks under her belt there, she actually could afford to take the cab this far. Henry pushed it back and winked to her.

 

"See you and ya' fiance at dinna'." He called and drove off.

 

Harley rolled her eyes and stuck her money back into her bag. Turning on her heel, she continued to the front gate where she began the normal routine of getting into the asylum. It had actually become habit for her. Maybe it was because she'd spent so much time freaking out about everything going wrong when interviewing, that she didn't think this far ahead. That she would actually get the job and frequent working there. As she walked through the doors, and came to face two guards she wore a confident smile. She was happy to see that Anderson was one of the guards who would be escorting her today, but the other guard set her off. It was Cash. She'd met him before, he seemed like he did his job well, maybe too well. He was really strict and rude to the subjects. However, she graced both men with a pleasant smile. They led her to the interview room where she would wait for the subject to be brought in. Sitting in her chair, she watched Cash bring the green haired male into the room. Cash shoved the subject to the other side of the table and took his position, standing behind Harley. As the man sat down, Harley hit the record button on the recording device. She was hopeful that this interview would end well. However, before Harley could even open her mouth to ask questions, he was already talking to her about...her!

 

"Okay Doc, I've got to know about you. Let's talk all about you today, huh?" He shrugged, not waiting for an answer. "Because of you I've had a lot, a lot of time to...to study you." He smiled. "I'm kinda like you.”  He tilted his head to the side. So, tell me, why do you go by the name Dr. Quinzell?"

 

Harley gave him a quaint smile. "Hmm, your name follows through I see. Always making jokes." She shook her head. "But I need you to be serious for me." She paused and went to open her mouth to continue with her questions.

 

"You don't understand me." His smile faded, following her command to be serious, but also not with the way he was talking to her.

 

"I do, I understand more about you than I do myself. More than I should actually." She spoke confidently, knowing he saw through it.

 

He let off his usual laugh, the one that she heard right before she went to bed. She wasn't sure if it scared her, or amused her. 

 

"You...don't...understand…me." He repeated, slowly.

 

"Yes actually I do understand you. You know why I understand you?" She shrugged her shoulders slightly. Maybe if she let him think he really did know more than her, she could get somewhere.

 

The male, interested, leaned his elbows onto the table and he just kept that smirk on his face. She hesitated, not sure if he wanted her to go, to give him what she knew. Then, she just went with it, she didn't' know where she was going with it, but she just said it.

 

"It's about control." She spoke up.

 

"Control?" He questioned, his face not changing.

 

"Yes." She replied quickly, trying to sound confident.

 

"Then you haven't been following my career,  _ pumpkin _ ."

 

Harley wasn't sure where this conversation would end, or lead - but she was happy that it was happening. She'd had gotten something from him.

 

"Oh but I  _ have _ . You're quite the performer. You create mayhem so you can be the eye of the storm."

 

She still hadn't been quite sure where she was headed with this conversation, but as soon as she finished, she couldn't be stopped. She didn't care if it would drive the man crazy, or get a wild response. Harley was hot.

 

"Because, in that storm, everything gets turned upside down  _ but _ you."

 

She read his face and saw the small twitch at the corner of his grin. She pressed on, her voice not even shaking when he rose quickly out of his seat, causing it to tumble over behind him.

 

"Hiding behind your madness is control. The way I see it, you're just a  _ control freak _ with a sense of humor." 

 

Even though the male was now standing across from her, able to cause her harm if he pleased being an arms length away. She simply leaned back again in her chair, and spoke up. She couldn't see him, but she knew Cash was going to grab for his gun because he felt threatened that the subject was standing up.

 

"Officer Cash, that won't be necessary." She turned her head slightly to the side, holding up her hand.

 

At the fact she could predict what was behind her, she could hear Cash's grunt of being told what to do and then a sigh as he shoved his the handle of his gun back into the holster. Her attention was turned back to the other side of the table. His shrill laugh filling the room as he stood with his head titled back.

 

"Oh I like this one!" His laughed disappeared. "Different than the usual privileged blue-blooded eunuchs they send down here."

 

Cash seemed to have had his full of the subject taking advantage of the interview. He rushed to the other side of the table and cuffed the male behind his back, beginning to push the green haired male out of the door. The subject kept talking.

 

"You got spunk kiddo. But you had to where you came from. Your accent screams New York. but not the Rockefeller variety."

 

And with that, Cash shoved him out of the room and Harley had lost her control of the interview. She made sure the tape had stopped and she got up, running into the hall.

 

"Hey! Where is he going with him, I wasn't done yet." She huffed.

 

Dr. Cassidy and Dr. Fisher both emerged from the viewing room, mouths open wide. She looked at them confused. Why had Cash been able to take him out of the room when she wasn't even done interviewing him? Anderson had his hand over his mouth as he stood next to the doorway.

 

"What?" She asked. "Did I do that wrong?" She shook her head. "If Cash hadn't taken him I would have had more time to get stuff out of him, I wasn't done yet. I promise." The subject was right, she did have an accent - but only when she spoke quickly, rushed. "Dr's. you've got to let me get him back in there."

 

The two of them instantly began to chat and Anderson patted her shoulder. "Wow girl, you know how to make yourself known here. He's never, ever been cracked like that before. It was like he was totally speechless." He shook his head and chuckled. "Harley, I think you just made yourself a target on Jokes list." He shrugged, brushing the comment off. "I guess it's good that you've got me as a guard huh?"

 

Harley's attention was not on Anderson as he tried to flirt with her, she simply looked where Cash had been pushing Joker away from her. She nodded her head.

 

"Yeah, yeah." She then glanced at her watch and bit her lip to stop from cursing. She turned to Anderson. "If you are a really good guard you'll get me to the front gates so I'm not late for a really important dinner with my fiance."

 

Dinner with Henry and his wife was a success. No awkward silences, no hostility and no problems. The food was great, the conversations were even better and so was the time spent. Harley was silently stressing the whole thing. What if Henry didn't like Guy? What if Henry offended Guy? “What ifs” constantly bombarded her head the few hours she had to get ready for the thing. Her time at work had taken her longer than expected and she was worried she'd be late. She wasn't, the couple arrived on the dot and Henry and Laura were more than happy to greet them in there cute little house. Harley answered Laura's questions and talked about the wedding with her.

Things were normal. She basked in the moment, the happiness. If only she knew, how crazy her life would become over the course of a few months. 

 


	3. New Subject

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley is starting to find comfort in her job, her life, but what kind of things does the Joker have up his sleeve for her?

When she returned the following week, while the joker was in confinement she was allowed to interview other inmates. She was able to interview subject 1212, also know on the street as, the Riddler. He was intriguing, though most of the interviews ended due to him only talking in riddles.  Along with him, she was able to interview subject 1360, or Poison Ivy. She was almost as amused with Ivy as she was when she interviewed Joker. The only reason she'd been able to interview with Ivy was because she had seduced her last doctor. 

Shocker... 

 

But Harley was up for the challenge and she wasn't scared of Ivy's plant powers. For all Harley cared, her cell was a glorified greenhouse.  

 

"Look I'm not an idiot." Ivy stated monotone the first few seconds into the interview. "I know those little Doctors told you to play good pet and interview me because you're new, and of course female." A small velvety chuckle escaped her lips. "Don't for a second think I'm as stupid as some of the others in this loony bin, I'm only in here because Bats trapped me..." The redhead rolled her eyes. "Anyways, you've got quite the reputation around here Mrs,  _ Harley _ ? Do you mind or should I be more formal?"

 

Harley sat back, writing down a few notes here and there. She glanced up and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "It's Dr. Quinzel." She clarified and let the other woman continue as she pleased.

 

"Well, the jokes on you, Dr. H." She chuckled darkly and then without pause kept talking. "So these docs know that just because our body parts are the same they don't think I can still have your clothes off in seconds?" She chuckled, clearly amused. "I'll even let Cash watch."

 

From behind Harley, she heard Cash's odd grunt as he tried to clear his throat. "Shut it inmate!" He growled and without looking Harley could just sense Cash's anger building.

 

As the interviewer she'd have to gain control. "Kiss away all you want. I've got a protective seal over my lips and I even tried on a new perfume." She smiled pleasantly. "You're familiar with the brand, weed killer..."

 

From her words, the plant lady sighed, knowing the two were even and that if they went with things, they'd get this done as painless as possible.

 

"Alright Mrs. Ivy." She called her by the name she'd suggested. "What did you do to doctor Edwards?"

 

Harley knew that Ivy wasn't one of those criminals that walked around questions, nor answered with a question. She said things she knew and or lied, very well. Her abilities were, after all, persuasion. So when Ivy told a lie or bent the truth she said it so confidently others would fall under the spell, but not Harley.

 

Ivy was amused and even giggled. "I kissed him." The female then tried to regain composure, with a shrug she added. "Some men just can't hold their venom."

 

Harley sighed and scribbled a few quick notes in her book and glanced up to see Ivy leaning forward.

 

"Do you wanna kiss me?"

 

Harley just gave a faint smile. "I've had my time to experiment with girls Mrs. Isley." She glanced down at her file. "That's your name right? Pamela Lillian Isley. Dr Isley..." Her blue eyes flickered up to look at the woman across from her and saw what she hoped she'd get, a reaction.

 

Ivy's usually charming half smirk was no longer on her lips. She looked off and spoke as if the venom on her lips could be fused into her words. " _ That's not me you bitch _ !"

 

"Really?" Harley didn't miss a beat. "Because these pictures look an awful lot like you." The blonde closed the file and folded her hands in front of her on the table. "So, I'm interested in how someone very smart and very invested in what she does, a respected Dr...sort of like myself." She searched Ivy's face, posture. "Could leave all that and turn into a criminally insane person, so quickly."

 

The words didn't make her happy and she screamed. "Look  _ bitch _ !"

 

This is where Cash realized the two females won't be fulfilling his fantasy of kissing or flirting and stepped in. "Inmate!"

 

Harley sighed and let Cash slam Ivy with his knee in her gut. She bent and he grabbed her hands. Crossing her legs Harley remained seated and watched Cash begin to pull the girl from the room.

 

Ivy laughed smoothly as she was prompted out the door. "Ha, no wonder Jokes is so mad about you. You're fun!"

 

At her last comment, Harley turned to look at the redhead being pushed away and her brow furrowed. Why was she talking about the Joker? How did she know she was interviewing him? The questions floating about her head stopped when Anderson popped his head into the door.

 

"Hello! Earth to Harley."

 

The girl glanced up and spotted the male waving to get her attention. She just chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, yeah I know. I just wanted to make sure Cash got her out of here."

 

Anderson just nodded. "Alright, but you’re always safe with me around Harls..”

 

Harley smirked as she collected her things. "You know, only my Fiance calls me Harl's."

 

Anderson half rolled his eyes at the comment and shrugged. "Well, maybe I can give you a new one."

 

Her head tilted back with her laugh. "Ha! Good luck."

 

A handful of months had passed and Harley’s life was in full swing. She was growing successfully in her pursuits at Arkham, learning so much, and not to mention earning twice as much as she’d ever made for any other job she’d had. Going from shadowing other doctors and only having one interview, she started to take on her own ways and meeting with two or three subjects a day. Plus, things with her family and friends were going swimmingly. Her and Guy couldn’t be more in love, Henry was happy to see Harley so happy with him and his wife was more than helpful in keeping Harley's head straight when it came to the planning of their wedding. Ever since they’d picked the date, things had taken off. She was already making dress fitting appointments, narrowing down a bridesmaid, thinking of accent colors. So on and so forth. Yet, what she found the most enjoyment in, was when she was interviewing with him. With the Joker. They’d surprisingly had more frequent meetings, due to good behavior. Cash didn’t need to shove him off to solitary for a lesson. He’d been doing great, sharing much more with her than before. She was breaking through! 

One of the things that bothered her however, was that after a while, Anderson hadn’t been around. Yes they were becoming more lax with security while they were interviewing, simply because the Joker hadn't been acting out. But, she didn’t figure they’d get rid of Anderson altogether. She was smart enough to know the guards worked in rounds but Anderson and Cash were at least always in the same wing. One evening, while in the staff kitchen, Harley spotted Cash alone. 

 

Harley had only left her office to fetch a cup of coffee, giving in and getting it from the pot and not just taking a quick lunch break to grab some at a cafe. In the room, she spotted Cash at a table, reading a magazine. She instantly sized him up, and knew it’d be her opportunity to pry. However, as she approached the coffee pot, the man gruffed. 

 

“He’s gone.” 

 

“E...excuse me?” The blonde turned, surprised that Cash already assumed she’d want to ask him. 

 

“The intern." 

 

"The what?" 

 

"No one told you? Jeez, Fisher has intern, he brought him in to apprentice. One of those, wayward programs for kids.” He rattled off and folded his paper to look at her. “Anyways, we’re out of coffee, Fisher sent the kid to go buy us all some from the cafe across the bridge as well as pick up some more for the kitchen.” He shrugged, checking his watch. “Either he’s taken his sweet time, or the traffic is a bitch.” 

 

“Oh.” Harley breathed, thankful he wasn't suspicious. “Fisher’s making him get  _ all _ of us coffee?” 

 

Harley pretended not to notice his slight annoyance at trying to get back into the article he was readying and all together setting the material on the table. 

 

“I mean, that’s just a lot of coffee for one kid to bring all the way back to the island, all the doctors, you, Garcia...Anderson.” She shrugged, making her way to the table, and sitting across from him. “He’s still around this wing isn’t he? I must be so busy that I haven’t seen him.” 

 

“He sent a guard with him, he’ll be fine.” The man’s brow furrowed. “Didn’t anyone tell you?” 

 

Harley’s brow rose as her heart sank. Oh no, Anderson. 

 

“The kids come down with a bad case of mono.” Cash ran his fingers over his stubble clad chin. “They say he won’t be back for a couple’a months.” He shook his head. “Poor kid, doesn’t get to have anyone over because he’s so contagious. Hell, I don’t even think his landlord has seen ‘em.”

 

Harley took in all the information. At least he wasn’t fired...or worse. Slowly nodding her head the girl sighed. “Well, I guess things will be a little less brighter around here.”

 

Lifting the magazine back up, Cash shrugged. “I wouldn’t say that, we got a kid from St. Gotham Children’s Hospital to cover his absence he used work here but then transferred, now he’s back. Pretty nice guy, you should meet him when he gets back with the intern kid. Uh, Ryder, I think they call him.”

 

“I’ll do just that.” Harley smiled and rose from her seat. Holding her coffee mug she quickly returned to her office and fell into her chair with a huff. 

 

Anderson ended up making a return a month after Harley discovered why he’d been missing. The moment she spotted him, she gave him a hug and greeted him excitedly. He simply returned the greeting and acted as if he hadn’t missed months of work. She chalked it up to him just not wanting to admit that he had been in a vulnerable state, but she couldn’t help the fact that it bugged her. 

Later the same day, after her interview with the Joker, Anderson and Cash were with her once again. Cash had lead them both to the cell of a new arrival, some guy who acts like a penguin, that Harley just couldn’t seem to really understand. He worshiped penguins.  _ Penguins.  _ The two were lead to the confinement wing, where the inmates were held. Harley always became a little tense when she entered. With new inmates, the first interview was conducted through the cell because they wanted to keep them in a familiar setting within the first forty eight hours of them arriving. Yes, she had plenty of guards surrounding her, but it still gave her the creeps as to what some of the characters behind the cells could do to her if they had the chance. All this went through her head before she passed the security check and the ID scanner to open the heavy metal doors. After she passed the threshold, she instantly changed demeanor. She was in control, she was on the right side of the glass, she was here to study, she wasn’t the reason these people were where they were. That, was the Batman’s fault.  

 

To say finishing the interview was a relief to Harley would be putting it lightly. Being away from the nasally voice of the penguin man was a blessing enough, but leaving the wing was a breath of fresh air. Cash stayed back to talk with another guard, someone Harley could only assume was the guy who replaced Anderson. Why was he still here again? Anderson and her were still walking, off into another wing, headed to her office. She dropped off her notes and observations in Dr. Fisher’s office and then went off to her smaller one. It was still an odd feeling to her that she had an office. Yet, she made it as cozy as possible, pictures of her and Guy, some of her favorite art on the walls. Sighing, she removed her lab coat and switched out her flats with the shoes she kept under her desk. Anderson just leaned against the door frame.

 

"So,” He began. “You’re getting off right now, right?” 

 

“Yes, I usually do, my interview is usually the last thing on my list.” 

 

“Well, good, cause I get to clock out at the same time.” He shrugged. “Want to get a bite to eat?”

 

Harley was logging out of her computer, collecting her things and practically leaving the room. “I have to meet with my, Fiance later but yes, I’m getting off of work right now.”  

 

The man pushed off of the doorframe as she emerged from the door. She did have to admit, she had missed his presence around this place while he was, sick. 

 

“So...is that a yes on the lunch thing?" He shrugged and then joked. "Or was you removing your lab coat just a tease?"

 

Harley shrugged her shoulders as she pulled her purse over her shoulder. "Hmm, I don't know Andy..." She chuckled at the nickname she'd given him. "I mean you could probably follow me all the way to my taxi, get in and just so happen to get out when I head into DiDi's Dinner?"

 

Anderson's lips spread into a wide smile, catching on. "Sweet!"

 

Harley shook her head and moved past him after hitting the light switch and closing the door to lock it. She glanced up, tossing her office keys into her purse. "Oh, wait..did I mention I texted my fiance to meet us, right?"

 

She watched as Anderson's smile and pep began to fade. Harley just laughed and playfully shoved him. "I'm kidding, Guy's in court today."

 

Anderson had ended up driving them to the diner in his squad car. Harley knew the dinner well, Anderson didn't. However, the two had spent two hours eating, talking and drinking milkshakes. The two were so carried away in their conversations and playful flirting that when Harley's phone beeped with a text from Guy, she almost coughed up her drink.

 

"Oh crap!" She hissed. "We've been here for almost three hours!"

 

Anderson finished sipping his drink and he laughed with a shake of his head. "No way, you're lying."

 

Harley shook her head. "No, I'm not, look." She stuck her phone out to show him the digital numbers. "Guy texted me asking where I was, we we're suppose to go to a taste testing for our cake." She put her face in her hands. "I'm the worst bride ever."

 

Anderson had stood up by the time she felt him take hold of her hand. "Well, it's a good thing I'm a cop."

Harley crawled out of the booth and shook her head. "But I..."

 

She tried to argue that she'd never make it and that she didn't understand what he was going on about. However, when the male had pulled her outside and towards the cop car, did it click. Using the sirens on the car, Harley was able to make it to the bakery in thirty minutes. Which, for New York traffic, is a life saver. Before jumping out of the car, Harley rambled her thank you, and paying him back promise. Out of being so humble for him, she leaned over and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. 

 

“Thanks a ton!” 

 

The blonde was met at the door by Guy in his court suit. He ushered her over to the back where they began to talk with the baker. By the end of the testing, Harley swore she'd never wanted to eat cake again in her life. Yes, the picked out a cake but it took the two forever to get both of them to agree on something. Though it was a tad hectic, Harley enjoyed the time she got to spend with  Guy. 

In the end, The he had to return to his office to finish paperwork and then promised he'd be in by midnight. That was typical, so when the two parted ways, the girl was just fine riding a cab back to their place alone. The girl yawned when she stepped out of the cab and began to make it into the apartment building. The stairs bugged her but she took them in stride, letting herself get lost in thought about all that was left to plan for the wedding. She sighed as she reached her floor and dug for her keys to unlock the door. However, when she reached the door, she spotted a package sitting in front of the door. She bent at her knees and picked up the small parcel. What on earth was it? She, nor Guy had ordered anything. Lifting the top flap of the box, she opened it up. Under a layer of tissue paper, she let out a gasp at the sight of two fingers with wedding bands lying inside of it. The girl’s hand shook and she tried hard not to scream. As her eyes scanned over the gruesome gift, she spotted a note laying underneath them. Closing her eyes tight, she pushed the, hopefully fake, fingers to the side and noticed words scrawled onto the back of a playing card.

  
"Say 'I do.' and you'll be wishing you said. 'I  _ don't _ '!"


	4. Wasted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding date is only weeks away, and Harley hasn't taken the Joker's threat lightly. What does the clown prince of crime have up his sleeve for her?

Chaotic. The next day, Arkham was buzzing with so much activity that harley couldn’t even worry about the “present” she found at her door. When the doctors showed up, that morning, they were informed that Batman had swooped in, left a pile of knocked out and tied up goons at the front door. Thus, sending Arkham into a field day. Thank you, Batman! If Harley ever got her hands on that stupid vigilanti she’d give him a piece of her mind. Though, she did enjoy the distraction for the most part. With all the new bodies, they had to process each one, which involved a lot of paperwork and also, a lot of psycho evaluations. Most of them were just henchmen that got caught while in the midst of a heist. By the end of her day, Harley was totally wiped. When she got to collapse into her office chair she let out the world biggest sigh. Thankful to be able to sit in silence the girl looked at her desk. Her eyes fell to the second drawer. She brought it with her of course. All she needed was Guy to find something like that at their apartment. To someone normal, this would cause alarm. Yet, working where she did, Harley expected something like this. Pulling the box out, she opened it, discarding the fingers, which having had it opened realized the fingers were indeed fake, along with the blood. The playing card was what she was most intrigued by. Examining the front with the message she chewed her lip, then flipped it around to finally notice that it was a joker card.  

 

Goosebumps.

 

All over her arms and body. Of course it was  _ him _ . 

 

Looking at the words scrawled on it, she couldn’t help but hear his voice in her head. He said it in just about every interview shes had with him. 

 

_ “Call me Mr. J.”  _

 

Half of her brain registered that as his calling card, his street name. The other, felt immersed in the effect it’d have on him to hear her say that. Her lips parted, her tongue wetting them. Taking in a deep breath, she tested how the words tasted. 

 

“Mr...Mr J.” 

 

The woman’s cheeks heated as the words left her mouth, as she looked around her office. No one was able to hear her, right? She was alone. After her anxiety died, she tossed the card onto her desk and let out an exasperated sigh. This was so foolish. Here she was thinking that a criminal, locked behind many bars and thick steel would suddenly pop up like a jack in the box at the magic word. Harley silently cursed herself as she shoved the playing card back into the ring box. As she let it fall from her hand into the desk drawer, her door opened causing her to jump. 

 

“Harls!” 

 

It was Anderson. She held her hand over her heart, recovering. He must have noticed because his high spirits were suddenly low. 

 

“Jeez Harley, are you okay?” He questioned. “You look as white as a ghost.” 

 

Shaking her head the girl swallowed so she could speak. “No, no, you just scared me half to death.” 

 

“Well it’s a good thing you’re surrounded by doctors.” His brow rose with a smirk.

 

Harley just responded with a smile as well and he took his cue to continue on. 

 

“So, me and a few of the guys are headed out for drinks after this terrible day. Wanna join, or is the husband waiting up?” 

 

Already starting to collect her things, Harley rolled her eyes. “Still just my fiance.” She corrected. “And no, I’ll be waiting up for him, you know that big case about Falcone?” She watched him nod. “He’s in the midst of that. So, going to a bar for a few drinks instead of going home to sit all alone sounds great.” 

 

Hours later, it boiled down to only Harley, Anderson, Cash and the Ryder guy. Only when they ordered their first round had she heard someone holler his first name, Jack. She still didn’t know the guy, just that he transferred over. The blonde would have never guessed she’d be sitting at a bar, at god knows what hour, getting wasted with him and her other coworkers. Harley was never really a big drinker, but after the day she had, she allowed herself at least a whole bottle of wine and maybe a few shots with the boys, just to prove she could hang. When it came down to the four of them, their conversation became less rowdy and more personal, getting to know one another. 

 

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m buds with your fiance.” Jack chuckled. “Honestly. He worked on a case of mine and really saved my butt.” He shook his head. “Back in the first days, when he was fresh out of school, he took me on, pro-bono and everything. Helped me win my case. He’s an amazing man, I’m happy for the both of you.” 

 

“Oh, really?” Harley raised her brow. “Hm, he never really talked about his cases very often with me.” She shrugged. “Don’t take offense though, he’s legally not allowed to.” 

 

The group chuckled and Jack went to continue, until Cash interrupted. 

 

“Okay, wait, before you begin Ryder, I gotta go take a piss. I’ll be back.” He patted the table with his hand and staggered off.

 

“Okay, well it looks like I’ll continue after intermission.” He shrugged. “Anyone need drinks, Andy, you need a water, Harley, another glass of white?”  

 

If Harley wasn’t as drunk, she’d have been set off by the fact he asked Anderson if he wanted water and not her. Yet, she just smiled. 

 

“Actually a water sounds amazing, if it’s not any trouble.” She turned her head to look at Anderson, but she caught him lifting his phone to his ear. After his brow furrowed, he waved to them and then walked a few feet away. She returned her glance to Ryder, who was smiling. 

 

“Looks like just one water then.” 

  
  


Harley just nodded and watched him walk off and her eyes scanned for Anderson. She may be drunk but she knew that something was off. A moment later, the man was back at the table, looking suddenly sober. He through cash down on the table and sighed. 

 

“Look, I’ve gotta get out of here. I, I can’t believe I forgot, I promised I’d get breakfast with my mother tomorrow, I haven’t seen her…” He mumbled, and grabbed for his things. 

 

Harley tried to get up, her body moving slower than her mind. “Oh, then…” 

 

“I’m back,” Jack returned, holding a water and a beer. He slid the drink to Harley and then looked to Anderson. “Would’ve gotten you one, but you feld.” 

 

“And I’m still trying to. That was my roommate, he locked himself out, again.” The man laughed. “The idiot. Um, I’ll see you guys on monday, all right?” 

 

The man spoke so quickly Harley didn’t have time to process and finish asking if he’d take her home. Something about asking Cash or Ryder made her skin crawl. Harley figured she’d be better off in a taxi. Wait, Guy. She could call him, he’d come get her, right? The girl moved, trying to get to her phone calmly, but instead bumping into her purse, causing the device to tumble to the floor.

 

“Oh, no!” She squeaked and rushed to grab for it, only to lose her balance getting off the chair. 

 

Jack caught her under her arm, chuckling. “Whoa, careful there.” He sighed. “Here, let me get that for you.” He bent and scooped it from the floor, handing it to her. “Don’t tell me you’re trying to leave too?” 

 

“Uh, no...no…” She sighed. “I, I need to call my, my fiance.” 

 

“Okay, Ryder, what’s your-” Cash made it back to the table, interrupting the two. “Hey, where’s Anderson?” 

 

“Had to go, and I think Harley’s trying to ditch us too.” He chuckled. “Except, I’m trying to persuade her to sit for a while, drink some water, sober up a bit.” 

 

“That’s not a bad idea.” Cash nodded and patted Harley’s shoulder. “Small girl probably didn’t realize how it’d affect her when she stood up.” He shook his head. “Take a seat sweatheart.” 

 

Harley just nodded, feeling like she had no control and maybe, if she did end up sobering up, she’d be able to gain some back. Taking a deep breath, she returned to her seat and watched as Cash lifted the glass of water to her lips. 

 

“Drink.”

 

Okay, so maybe Cash wasn’t as bad as she’d pegged him to be. He was honestly taking care of her in this state rather than abusing her. She smirked and nodded. 

 

“Yes sir.” 

 

The three chuckled and Harley took the glass from Cash. After she took a sip, she had to admit, they were right. Water was just what she needed. It felt so good running down her throat, clearing her mouth. It didn’t sober her any, but she did begin like that it refreshed her mouth. Though, between sips, she couldn’t help but feel like the water had a slight twange. She chalked it up to it being tap and not from a bottle. Gotham’s water wasn’t purified enough to enjoy it in large quantities. 

 

“Hello?” 

 

Harley heard Cash’s voice, and noticed his cellphone now as raised to his ear. This call, however wasn’t private. She could hear a woman yelling, loudly. Was Cash married? His poor wife. After he hung up, he turned to the two of them and scratching at the back of his head, he shrugged. 

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure Harley get’s home safe. Get home to your wife you no good low life.” Jack teased. 

 

Cash let out a dry laugh. “I’m so sleeping on the couch tonight.” 

 

Jack patted his shoulder as he grabbed his uniform jacket and keys. 

 

“You sure you’ve got her? I’d hate to leave you two like this.” 

 

Jack waved him off as Harley swallowed the last of her water. “Go on, it’s really no problem. I’ll get her home, and have her fiance call you if you’re that concerned.”

 

Cash waved his comment off and continued out of the bar. “Night guys!” 

 

Waving back at Cash and then turning to see a smiling Jack was the last thing Harley remembered before she woke up in her bed the next morning. 

 

Harley rolled on her side to check the time. Noon! She sat up and searched the room, as if answers were written on the walls. She pushed her hair from her face and spotted Guy entering the room. 

 

“Oh! Good, you’re awake.” He approached her from the doorframe and offered the cup of coffee in his hand. “I was beginning to think you’d sleep forever.” He chuckled. “Late night?” 

 

Taking the coffee graciously, she sipped it and then looked at him with a curious brow raised. “You didn’t see me come in?” 

 

“Um, no…” He shook his head. “I only got home at ten, am that is. We ended up crashing at the office last night. I came home to change, and noticed you were still knocked out and called in sick to make sure I could take care of you all day.” He smirked. “You know your bachelorette party isn’t until a couple of weeks, right?” 

 

Harley just shook her head. “Not funny.” The girl continued to sip the coffee and her mind began to buzz with questions. 

 

How had she gotten home? 

 

How had Jack gotten her into her apartment? 

 

Did he go through her purse?

 

He didn’t use her did he? 

 

Receiving a soft peck to the temple, caused her to return to reality. “Well, you must be hungry, if you’re up to it that is.” He shrugged. “We can go get lunch, then spend the rest of the day together on the couch. I’ll even let you talk about last minute wedding details.” 

 

Setting the coffee mug on the nightstand, she leaned into Guy and smiled. “That sounds wonderful. Thank you.” 

 

Guy looked down at her and nodded. “Maybe I should bring you coffee in bed more often.” 

 

Harley shook her head and sat up on her knees, holding his chin. “No, really. Thank you.” Closing the gap between them, she pecked his lips. “Thank you for loving me, and being so perfectly amazing.” 

 

Guys brow furrowed and he laughed. “Where’s this coming from?” He laughed and poked her stomach. “You’re not being all sappy because you’re pregnant are you?” 

 

This cause Harley to laugh, which felt good, she hadn’t done that in some time now. She giggled and shook her head. “No, it’s because I love you, and I couldn’t be more excited to marry you.” 

 

Guy pecked her lips this time and they both smiled at one another. Then he added. 

  
“Good, cause I’m pretty sure a wedding planner is non-refundable.” 


	5. Objection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the big day! ...but why does it not feel like so?

The next few weeks of Harley’s life flew past in a blur. She was so caught up in the wedding, and dealing with work it was like she was on autopilot. Events of that night faded away, she smiled at Ryder everyday at work, talked to Cash about where Anderson had gone off to. She hadn’t seen him since the night he left the bar. She was worried, very worried. Disappearing twice, and in such a small frame of time? Cash didn’t know anything this time, but he figured it was just another round of mono, or other type of illness. Of course he didn’t think anything was up, Cash did only care for himself.

Then, Guy sat Harley down one night and began to talk about his job. Apparently he’d been talking to another law firm. He told her that he hadn’t bothered mentioned anything to her because he wasn’t actually sure anything would come from it. However, he was offered a job, and possibly the opportunity to be a partner, which would provide a huge income advantage. The catch? The job was in Metropolis, they’d have to move. After some thinking, the two realized they had nothing to lose and it would be a mistake to not take the job.  

Now, here they were, a week before the wedding and Harley’s nerves were through the roof. Thing at work were going wonderful, the interviews she had were more frequent, and less supervised. She was trusted in the fact that she could be left alone in the room with them, of course a guard was posted at the door, but no one was in the room with them. Most inmates didn’t care, or notice. He did.

“Ah, come on Harleen.” The green haired male cooed. “Can’t you just get at least Cash in here?” His brow rose. “You and I both know he likes to watch.”

Harley had to stifle her laugh. “Cash has more important things to do.” Shrugging her shoulders she cooly said. “With Anderson out, he’s got twice the work, even with Ryder’s help.”

“Anderson! Ah, the old chum.” His cackle filled the room. “Hope the man isn’t too ill.” Placing his hands on the table that separated them, he spoke up. “After all he means a lot to you, doesn’t he?”

Absorbing the words and her regular reaction to something like that. She remained stoic. “Anderson is dealing with his own problems, which is something you could learn a valuable lesson from.”  

“Harleen, why are you leaving me?”

Harley’s brow rose. “How do you know I’m leaving?” She was more so daring him, not so much as questioning him.

“I have friends too.” He shrugged, kicking his feet up and placing his arms behind his head. “We like to gossip just like anyone else.”

“Well, I’m sorry to tell you, but your sources are wrong.” She shook her head. “Keep up this behavior and you’ll be in solitude and we won’t be meeting.”

“Aw! Harley, where is  your sense of fun?”

Down casting her eyes, the woman sighed. “Alright, we’re done for the day.”

The woman lifted her head and she watched as the man with a permanent grin, pouted. It was harsh on his face.

“Come on, _please_.”

Harley stood and shook her head. “No.” Then she walked to the door and tapped out their code. The door squeaked as it opened and Cash entered.

“Come on, _freak._ ” Cash spat as he started to cuff the lunatic.

Harley shook her head with a warning tone. “Cash.”

The officer just huffed as he started to push the green haired male from the room. As his head stuck out from the door, the joker just cackled.

“Have a great honeymoon dollface!”

 

* * *

 

 

The entire event was to be recorded. Harley and Guy agreed that they wanted to be able to watch later down the road, and show it to their hopefully, future children. Though this was just an idea tossed around, and a camera provided, Harley nor Guy chose a cinematographer. Yet, as the camera went around, no one seemed to care that Jack was in charge. The course of these events were all caught on tape.

 

~

 

“I...is this thing on?” The rustle of the device shifting in the grasp of someone's hand continues. “Well, let’s go ahead and sign the guest book…”

 

More rustling ensues and finally a book comes into focus, many names scrawled on the lines. A pen clicks.

 

_Mr. & Mrs. Strange _

_Selina Kyle_

_Troy Stevenson_

_Amanda Waller_

_The Gordon family_

_Harvey Dent & Rachel Dawes _

_Natalie Gilbert_

 

Below the growing list of names, a hand snakes around from behind the lens and scribbles quickly.

 

_Jack Ryder_

 

After dropping the pen onto the open page, the camera pans up to a picture of the happy couple.

 

“Beautiful.”

 

Yet, the camera shakes as footsteps shuffle.

 

“Sorry Jack...a,are you recording?” An attendee asks, recovering from the bump in.

 

“Yeah, kinda was.”

 

The man adjusted his glasses and gave a shrug then began to walk off. “Hm, didn’t think they’d have you do it…”

 

The camera begins to pan away, catching glimpses of feet.

 

“Wait…” The disembodied camera man catches on. “What is that supposed to mean?”

 

~

 

“Just stand right there and I’ll start recording, and then you can start talking.”

 

“Oh!” A short woman spoke and began to fix her hair. “Right now..”

 

“Yeah, just say hi, and then something about the bride and groom.”

 

The woman was insistently fixing her hair and the gentlemen beside her bounced on his toes.

 

“Is the thing even recording?”

 

“Yeah, uh, I mean, I think so. There’s this…” A finger creeps into the frame. “Flashing dot thingy.”

 

“Um, yeah, it’s blinking, does that mean-”

 

“Yes, it’s recording, I think. Anyways, we’ll do it once with the blinking and then without.”

 

“Okay.” The couple nodded.

 

After a moment of for pause, the couple adjusted their outfits and one another and then began. The woman speaking first.

 

“Harley and Guy, we’re both so thrilled for you.”

 

“Yeah, you know we’re both really excited, you know what, good luck.” The man held up his hand, showing a wedding band. “You’re going to need it, have fun in mitropolis.”

 

“That’s perfect, thanks.”

 

The camera begins to lower as the couple nods, but the woman steps forward.

 

“Oh, it’s still, it’s still flashing. I think it’s still-”

 

“No, no it’s off.” The cameraman asures.

 

“Just help it, show him…” The male added in, as the woman kept stepping forward.

~

 

The camera pans the floor, feet rush by and then it pans up to a man in all black, the priest.

 

“Hello, father, any words for the couple?”

 

“This here's recording?”

 

“Yeah, uh, it is, just say what feels right.”

 

“Okay.” The man pauses, folding his hands. “Guy and Harley, you two are just beautiful. I enjoyed being with you on your journey to matrimony, watching you two fall more in love with another, but i want to warn you that your….”

 

The priest continued to speak, but the camera ever so slowly began to zoom past his head and the the lady attendee behind him. Her dress plunged at the bustline and just as the zoom reached her the priest spoke up.

 

“Ay, at boy, i’m right here, where could you possibly be taking that-”

 

The zoom quickly snaps back to regular focus and the priest's head is turned to the lady, then quickly back. He swings at the cameraman.

 

“Keep your eyes here boy! Not sinfully watching that girl's chest over there!”

 

“Uh what are you, I wasn't….”

 

“Listen, and you too.” The priest pointed into the lense. “Don’t be like this joke, go ahead and stay married, and love each other, that’s the rule.”   Pausing to look up at the cameraman, he nodded. “I’m done.”

 

~

 

Suddenly the camera focuses on one of the attendees, only visible was the male's chest, suit and tie.

 

“...yeah she, she actually got me the internship at arkham.”

 

“Uh, huh, yeah…uh, thanks Quince.”

 

Then, the camera began to pan to the side, zooming in on Guy, who was standing in a small alcove, a phone pressed to his ear.

 

“Oh!” Then the camera began to become closer as footsteps were heard. “There he is, Guy Kopski, the man who’s going to lose his freedom.”

 

Guy was still holding his phone to his ear then stuck his finger up to stop him.

“Oh.”

 

Then the groom began to speak. “Hey, Garrett, it’s Guy...uhhh. I hope you’re on your way. Don’t forget the rings and call me when you get this.”

 

The groom frustratingly ended the call and wiped at his brow.

 

“Oh, hey, hey come here!”

 

The camera panned past the wall and a few plants to land on a door. A hand came from behind the camera and waved at the door.

 

“Oh, there goes your freedom, ah right out the door, bye freedom!” The camera panned back and Guy just chuckled. “Remember that from the bachelor party, at the iceberg lounge last night?”

 

“Yeah. yeah I do.” He chuckled and nodded. “I’m surprised you remember the party last night.” Guy looked past them camera and then back. “Speaking of which, maybe we should not mention that stuff during the wedding, huh?”

 

“Yeah, yeah.”

 

Guy nodded, relaxing at their agreement. “How are you doing, can you handle all this filming stuff alright?”  

 

“Why does everybody think, ugh, yes I can do this.”

 

Guy nodded. “Just make sure to leave some tape for the actual ceremony.”

 

“Don’t worry, not only will there be enough tape for the wedding, but after the wedding as well, huh, huh, am I right?”

 

Guy frowned. “What did I just say?”

 

“Oh, I…”

 

“Oh, forget it.  I need to talk to father,

 

“Okay, I’ll talk to the rest of the wedding party, hey, where's the best man?”

 

Guy began to walk off and he rose his arms. “That’s a good question.”

  


~

 

Disembodied voices are heard, at first mumbles and then they begin to come to. Shaky and blurry the camera moves and two bodies are seen. After a moment of zooming, the camera finally adjusts on Harley and her maid of honor. Selina Kyle.

 

Selina was off to the side, applying lipstick. Harley was absorbed into the floor length mirror, as her hands smoothed out her dress. Selina set down her lipstick and glanced to Harley giving her friend a smile. The woman stood and went behind Harley, tightening her corset lacing.

 

“You look beautiful.” She commented, looking over Harley’s shoulder into the mirror.

 

This caused Harley to snap from her trance, allowing herself a nod, anxiety riddled her face.

 

“Your dress is certainly breath,” Harley took in a deep breath as Selina pulled to tighten the lacing. “taking.” The almost feline like woman finished with a laugh. “...Isn’t it?”   

 

The camera zoomed in to catch Harley’s facial expression.

 

Selina was heard from behind Harley. “It doesn't, however, cover up the fact that you’re nervous.” Her head peeked up over the blondes shoulder. “Guy is nervous too if it makes you feel any better.”

 

The camera quickly moved in tight to Harley’s face. It remained removed and her eyes entranced on her reflection.

 

“I slept with him last night to calm him down.”

 

Suddenly the lense pulled back out to catch both girls. Harley’s eyes seemed to break from the mirror and she looked up with a shrug. “It’s okay, I poisoned your champagne.”   

 

Selina’s head raised over Harley’s shoulder and the two met eyes in the mirror and shared a giggle. The black haired girl returned to the dress and added.

 

“Didn’t think you were listening.”

 

“Yeah, I...I dont,” Harley began. “Everything's moving really fast and uh, I just can’t believe I start packing tomorrow. It seems like I just agreed to take the position at Arkham.”

 

“Uhm, it’s just a honeymoon, hun. You don’t have to pack too much.”

 

“I’m not talking…” Harley shook her head, her hands rising for her to start wringing them. “I’m talking about leaving Gotham and, and work, and...Henry, and you…”

 

With one last tug, Selina finished fixing the lacing and then rested her chin on the girl's shoulder. “As much as I hate losing you as a neighbor, leaving Gothams a good idea. Let’s face it Harls, is not big enough, for the two of us.”

 

Harley offered a laugh and Selina shrugged.

 

“Besides, it’s a little late to back out now.”

 

“It wasn’t saying anything about backing out. I’m more worried about finding you a guy.”

 

Selina rolled her eyes and turned away. “Ha, yeah…”

 

“In fact, Guy has a brother…” Harley began, but Selina cut her off.

 

“Thank you, but I’ll pass on going the Kopski family.” She giggled. “Plus, I have my eyes on a certain...batty man.”

 

Harley’s eyes narrowed. “You are not crushing on the batman!” Shaking her head the girl continued. “That man is a straight lunatic, he belongs in Arkham, trust me. Ugh, I could _never_ be friends with a thief...or, or vigilante, let alone crush on one.”

 

“He...may have saved me, once...or twice.” The girl’s eyes looked up and she began to smile.

 

“Well, this is a wedding, there will plenty of guests to choose from.” Harley shrugged.

 

“Just promise.” Selina’s brow rose. “No politicans.”

 

“Deal.” Harley laughed.

 

“Also I’m catching the bouquet…”

 

“I’m not-”

 

Suddenly the camera began to rise and then the sound of a hangers clattered and both girls head snapped towards the camera.

 

Selina’s body language changed and she tilted her head. “Where you filming us?”

 

“I...I don’t know.” The camera’s voice spoke.

 

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Harley quipped. “That doesn’t make it any better.”

 

“Get out, get out!” Selina began to approach the camera, but it was moving back as she did so. “Get out of here!”

 

“I, I’m single Mrs. Kyle.”

 

“Get out out of here you creep!” She yelled once more and then slammed the door right in front of the camera.

 

~

 

Champagne was flowing from a bottle to a wine glass, held by another. After the flue was full, the bottle was moved away and the camera moved to the woman’s face.

 

“Thanks, but isn’t this stuff for, after the wedding?”

 

“Ah, no, this is taking way too long, at this rate there won’t even be a wedding.”

 

“Well, you’re quite the romantic, aren’t you?”  

 

“Oh, I am.”

 

“And I hear the you,” The camera moves in closely. “...have a waterbed. Hows that working for you?”

 

The woman's brow furrowed and she scoffed. “Wait, how do you know these things?”

 

“How does who know what things?” A masculine voice comes from off camera, but is soon in frame when he takes the glass from the woman's hand.

 

“Oh um,” The camera moved between the two faces. “Dr. Strange, your wife and I were just talking about how uh-”

 

The woman folded her arms and turned to her husband. “Are you telling people that we have a waterbed?”

 

“Oh, uh, no I…”

 

“What?” The doctor’s brow rose. “No, I…wait,” His head turned, and then he looked to the camera. “How do you, how do you know these things?” His arm surpases the lense and his voice intensifies. “ _How do you know these things_?”

 

Then his wife jumps in to push him off. “The wedding hasn’t even started, I think you’ve had enough to drink already.”

 

The couple separated as she tried to grab the glass, but the doctor stepped back. His hand clenched around it, and he looked off. “Is that video still up, dammit, 4479.”

 

The doctor then stormed off and the camera turned back to the wife. She stood with her mouth agape. The cameraman could only stutter um, and uhs.

 

 

~

 

A couple comes into view and the camera man's voice is heard. “I’m pretty short on tape, so if you could make this quick, that’d be great.”

 

“Oh, okay, yeah.” The male nodded. “Uh, Hi Harleen. This is Quincy, Sharp. Uh, you called me Sharpie that one time. I guess I just wanna let you know, you’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met, ever known in fact. Without you, I wouldn’t have even gotten this internship at Arkham, um, I think the world of you, um, I wish we could have gotten to know each other a little better over the last few months. I’m really going to miss you, I wish you didn’t have to go.” He chuckled nervously. “Gosh, I wish this wasn’t happening, um, not that you’re getting married, um, just that you’re not you know marrying someone else.”

 

The camera panned to the side, where Guy was listening in and the male mouthed the word.

 

“Crazy.”  

 

Moving the camera back to Quince, the cameraman spoke up.

 

“Uh, yeah, that’s all we need.”

 

“Uh, I just want to make sure, you know that I love-”

 

 

~

 

Capturing a group standing around, the camera stepped into it and began to pick up the conversations around it. Spotting Henry and another attendee.

 

“That’s true but I bet you’ll miss Harley.”

 

“Oh, yeah, I will, the girl is like my daughter.” He shrugged. “It’ll give me and the wife to go see Metropolis.”  

 

Then, a man appeared next to Henry. He shook his hand and sighed. “Hey, I know we’ve all been waiting, but I just have other things to do today and have to leave.”

 

“I completely understand, thank you for coming, I’ll let Harley and Guy know.”

“Thank you very much.”

 

The male left and Henry shook his head with a sigh. Then, the cameraman spoke, grabbing his attention.

 

“Hey, how does it feel to have someone, so close to you getting married?”

 

“I...it’s very hectic right now, and I’d rather not comment, thank you.” The man raised his hand as he left the conversation.

 

Though, the camera man followed, then zoomed closer, catching Guy and him in a conversation. Without giving away that he was filming the conversation, the cameraman stood close and then zoomed in closer.

 

“Thought you’d be apart of the family by now.” Henry shrugged. “What’s the hold up?”

 

“It’s Garrett, he’s, not here.” Guy pulled his phone from his pocket. “And he’s not answering his phone…” As the groom looked up he looked around at the attendees. “And looks like people are already starting to have drinks in the chapel.”

 

Henry shrugged. “People are starting to leave.”

The groom sighed and then the priest joined by their sides. “Mr. Kopski, have we worked up the courage to go through with it?”

 

“Almost, father, it’s going to be the longest wedding in history, huh?”

 

The father shook his head. “Ah, take your time, you are payin’ me by the hour.”

 

Henry shrugged. “Is going ahead without the best man, such a bad idea?”

 

Guy began to nod. “I’ll, uh, start to usher people into the church.”

 

~

 

Harley was standing outside of the chapel doors and Henry was standing with her. The wedding party was already making their entrance and he caught their conversation.

 

“You know Harley, I’ve been waiting to see this day for you for as long as I can remember.” He shrugged. “I, I know your father ain’t here, but I know he’d be just as proud of ya, as I am.” Taking in a deep breath, he shook his head. “I’m honored to walk you down the aisle.”

 

“Aw, thank you Henry. Don’t get me emotional, Selina took a long time to do my makeup.”

 

The two chuckled and then she spotted the camera. She frowned. “Hey! The ceremony, catch the ceremony!”

 

“Oh, yeah, I, I’m on it. I won’t miss a thing.”

 

The camera moved back and the two began to walk down the aisle, the music picking up as they did so. The camera followed along for a few empty rows and then began to zoom the rest of the way. Harley was given away by Henry and then she joined Guy at the altar, the priest began to speak.  

 

~

 

The camera pans up from darkness and a voice is heard from behind.

 

“You missed the whole ceremony.”

 

“No,no, I got the important parts and more importantly I’m recording, _now._ ”

 

The camera rose and zoomed into the priest, Harley and Guy were holding hands.

 

“...Guy Kopski as your lovely wedded husband, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poor, as long as you both shall live.”

 

She looked up and smiled. “I do.”

 

The priest looked at those attending and smiled. “And if there is anyone here who has any objection to why these two shall not be in union, please, speak now, or forever hold your-”

 

Then a loud popping noise went off and the priest fell to his knees. Harley and Guy separated and gasped, looking at the priest, along with the rest of those in the chapel. The camera then panned to the chapel doors, a clown standing with a gun. He stepped forward, licking at the side of his mouth.

 

The mad man disarmed and smiled.

 

“I object.”


	6. Shotgun Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker comes to Harley's wedding, hoping to shed a little fun on the festivities.

Harleen was normal. She had grown up, had good grades, lost her parents, got into medical school. All things normal. So, like all girls, she had dreamed of her wedding day. All the details falling into place and things come out, well perfect. With all her friends and family and anyone else that meant any significance to her. When the shotgun pierced through the chapel, Harley had become sick to the stomach. No, not her wedding day! This, is also what ran through her head as the demented clown started to walk down the aisle. Before she could come up with what to do, Guy had immediately stepped in front of her. But what made her stomach give was when Henry stood up, facing off with the clown. 

“Look, we don’t want any trouble here. Okay? We’re just trying to have a wedding. If you want money, we’ll- we’ve got plenty. I just don’t want anything happen’ to my niece.”

“Should’ve thought about that before putting on a wedding.” The green haired male shrugged nonchalantly. 

Before Henry could open his mouth again, the clown had the shotgun connecting to the elderly man's forehead, causing him to pass out. That was the last straw. 

“Stop it!” Her voice scarred even herself. How could she find courage in this situation? With her voice, her body ended up pushing enough to cause Guy to almost lose his footing. “Stop it,  _ Stop it _ !”

This, caused the clown to turn and look devilishly at the couple. Though Harley was riled up, Guy had still managed to keep his body in front of her. 

“Ah, well, we can’t stop here.” The joker grew close to the groom and bride, Guy moving each way that the clown did, Harley trying to push past to get at him. “I haven’t even kissed the bride.” 

At that, Harley hid behind Guy’s shoulder, but the clown simply went behind him and she quickly hurried forward, holding onto Guy’s hand tightly. 

“Besides…” He continued on, fixing his jacket. “The best man just got here.” 

“What did you do to my brother!” Guy stepped forward. 

The clown looked offended. “I didn’t do anything to him.” His head full of disheveled green hair shook. “He killed himself.” He stepped even closer to Guy. “Oh, it was terrible, I was shocked but, uh, he was more shocked. He wanted me, to take his place. So, here I am.” The man again, adjusted his suit jacket. Waving the gun at their faces he shrugged. “You can’t have a wedding without a best man, it just isn’t done.” He turned to the fear stricken attendees. “Cause you see, back in the old days, the best man would - if for some reason the groom.” His shotgun rose and pointed to Guy. “Should die.” His pasty hands wrapped around the front. “Would take his place.” He shrugged lightly, looking to the audience and then in a swift pull of the trigger, shot Guy in the gut. 

Harley screamed, and reached for her lover as he fell to the floor. The panic rose in the room and she could hear the rest of the wedding goers run from the chapel. She held onto his hand and placed her hand over his wound. She felt his breath begin to sharpen and become short. 

“No, no, shhhh, it’s okay, come on, don’t go...don’t.” 

Her medical training was kicking in and she watched as blood puddled around her hands and bubbled from his lips. She felt his hand, sticky from the blood, touch her cheek, and then fall slowly as she cried out his name.

“Guy!” 

Then, Harley felt a body next to her, no doubt it was the clown. He began to mumble.

“Stay with us, come on, do it for you girl.” 

Harley was fighting back tears as she watched her fiance spasm on the floor in pain, his body  shook and she tried to keep all of her pressure on his wound. But, as his spasms shortened, and then all together came to an end, she sat, blank faced, staring off into who knows what. Then she seemed to snap out of it, as her nursing instincts faded and her survival began to rev. Turning her head slowly, she saw the clown nodding.

“It’s going to be okay.”  

Harley’s breath picked up and she tried to rise, while using her hands to stop him, but he was too fast. She grunted under his strength, his hands holding her wrists firmly. Gaining control over her arms, he pushed them down and got very close in her face. 

“No to be a party pooper, but you  _ really _ aren’t ready for a relationship.” 

“Get off - get away-” She grunted as she tried to swing her arms away from him. He was too strong. 

“Hey.” He breathed, getting her attention. Then he swatted her on the head with the butt of his gun, causing her to spiral into darkness. 

 

* * *

 

When Harley awoke, she could tell it was hours later. Maybe even into the am. Her head had been hanging down because she'd had her hands tied behind her back and her feet tied to the legs of the chair. In a panic she searched the area around her, She was in a chair, and some old, no doubt abandoned warehouse, that much she knew. Giving a change at trying to untangle herself from the stupid ropes holding her back she writhed and wiggled in her place. That's when she realized she'd been changed. She was wearing something more along the lines of her dress code for work. A red blouse, black pants. Her hair had even been taken out from its wedding updo, to a bun. Goosebumps covered her entire body. 

 

_ He changed her clothes _ . 

 

This instantly turned from being creeped out, to rage. How  _ dare  _ he touch her. Her breathing picked up as her emotions stirred, her eyes watering. That’s when she heard his voice, it came from the shadows. 

“Shh,shhh,shhh,” He approached her slowly. 

Even in her shaken state, she noticed he hand changed too. He wasn’t wearing a wedding tux, but a purple tailcoat.

“Shhh….” He kept hushing her, finally close to her face, a knife pointed at her. “You’re giving me, a  _ killer headache _ !” His voice intensified as he gripped the collar of her shirt. Then, his twisted laugh filled the room.

“Please!” Harley screamed. “Let me go!”  

“Let you go?” The clown appeared hurt. “Why would I go through all of this trouble, just, to let you go?” He spoke very close to her, not afraid of infringing her personal space. “No, no, first, we need to have a little chat!” His gloved hands came up to hold her face, though she tried to jerk it away, he held her still. 

“Oh god.” She whimpered. 

His hands fell and his knife reappeared as he inched closer and placed the tip of the knife into her cheek. “I told you...to be  _ quiet!”  _ His voice intensified aging into a deep, almost demonic level and Harley couldn’t help but silence herself. 

Moving away slowly the male put his finger to his lips. “Good...good.” 

When she felt he was at a safe distance, her brow furrowed and fight came back. “Can you at least, untie these god damn ropes!” 

The male stood and looked at her, “Of course.”  His hand rose in a shrug. “As long as you promise not to run away. I wouldn’t want thing to get...messy, hm?”

Harley just grimaced at him and he knelt down with his knife in his hand. Harley tried to think of ways she could override him, but knew with each foot and hand it’d be less likely he’d be unprepared. She sat still as his knife hacked at the thick ropes. When she was free, she took in a deep breath, at least there was some chance at freedom. Then, the joker backed away and pulled from his jacket a gun. 

He shrugged. “Just in case.” 

Harley’s first response was to spit in his face, and she did. She couldn’t help but feel like she’d gotten some kind of victory, when the male scoffed. However, he just wiped it away and proceeded to slap her across the face. She whimpered at the impact. Soothing the burning in her cheek with her hand, she looked at the man. 

“Now I’m sure you’re wondering why you’re here.” His arms started to wave in the air. “It all started, five years ago.” He shrugged, walking in circles around her. “Batsy and I, got into a rumble.” From behind he shook her shoulders and she flinched. “Then, he threw me in arkham!” Moving away from Harley, he returned to look at her from the front. “Eventually, I managed to find a way out, but batsy picked me up as soon as I hit the streets. But when I got out again, I  _ thought _ I was safe. I kept the lowest profile, at least by my standers. But no!” The man jumped a little as his inflection rose. “ _ Batman _ never disappoints. He knew where to find me. He always knows!” The clown turned over his shoulder and in a fit of rage kicked over boxes, and as they came tumbling down, so did various tools.  

Harley could feel warm tears running down her cheeks. She hated that she was like this. She wanted to prove to him that she was mentally stronger and wouldn’t crack under pressure. There was no way he’d think he had power over her. Waving his hand with the gun, she watched as he calmed himself down. He turned back to her with a smile.

“Point is, I was back at Arkham. My life had become so...boring, so...so  _ predictable _ .” Joker shook his head. “Do you know what that does to a man,” He pointed a finger at her. “No, not crazy, worse.” Then, he filled the gap between the two of them by leaning on the arms of her chair, the other raised with the gun to his head. “I fell into a severe depression!” Lowering the gun, he tilted his head. “Living in Arkham there's a lot of these...rules - and you know how I feel about rules. Don'tcha’, dollface.” He reached forward and pinched her cheek, she only glared at him. Realizing, he wasn’t looking for a reaction, she waited for him to continue. “So there I was, sitting in my cell, high on all the meds you could think of!” His hands twirled around with his storytelling. “All while doctors tried to crack what was wrong with me, pierce my psyche and figure out just what happened to me.” He sighed with a shrug. “Boring! Where was the chaos?  The spontaneity? Where was the  _ fun _ !” The man paused and grew closer, near her ear. “But then…the letters started coming.”Stepping back from her the male opened his suit jacket once more and pulled from it a folded piece of paper. “Some poor, groupie, some shrink, in training...used to write me letters like I was Dear Abby.” His hands began to unfold the paper and when he spoke next, his voice was high pitched, mimicking that of a feminine voice. “Dear Joker this...and, dear Joker that…blah, blah, blah!” With the swift throw of his arm, the letter floated behind him onto the floor. “Imagine that, someone wants to be like,  _ me. _ ” As he spoke, he got closer with each step, then grasping her hair as he was only a few inches away. “And there were more, and more letters over the course of two years.” His hand still in her hair, his eyes narrowed at her. “Then, they stopped.” He tugged at her hair, and then let go. 

 

“Why are you doing this to me!” Harley barked. 

 

“You, came to  _ my _ cell, sweetheart.” The man grew closer again. “Hundreds of crazies, thousands of psychos, but no, no,  _ no _ ! You. Chose. Me.” He grabbed hold of her neck and placed the gun against her forehead. “You of all people should know, the brain is like a beautiful tree, lots of twisting, delicate branches. And, there's a very thin line that separates normality, from insanity. Please don’t be worried, I’m not going to break your bones, I’m going to snap your twigs!” 

Harley’s breathing stopped, tears still silently streaming a bit, but not because she was upset anymore, they just wouldn’t stop. Mascara was no doubt running down her cheeks. When his hand fell from her head, she let out a long sigh. 

The crazed clown continued on, as if he hadn’t said anything threatening. “Then, after three years of nothing, I finally get an interview with a new doctor.” His gun continued to wave aimlessly. “Imagine my surprise when I find out, it’s the same poor shrink that wrote to me not too long before.” Giving a devilish grin he looked at her in the eyes. “I wanted to get you alone, but those damn guards had to be with you every second.” He rolled his eyes as he huffed, then his brow rose, as if a light bulb had went off. “Oh! That reminds me, I was so lucky when I ran into him, I knew you’d be happy to see him.” The purple clad man ran off to the side, behind a few various objects left in the warehouse. 

Moments later, after hearing an odd noise, she watched in horror as she drug Anderson out by the arms. Was he...was he dead?  At the sound of disoriented grunts and moans, she could tell that he was in fact okay, or at least conscious. Dropping him, not so delicately, Joker looked at her, then back at him. Giving Anderson a kick to the shoulder, he shook his head. 

“I thought this do-good cop had stolen your attention from me.” The clown circled the male's body and began to tisk. “I wish I had figured it out faster, could’ve saved us all a lot of time.” His head turned to her and he laughed that wicked laugh. “Oh, right, I should explain some more.” Pointing the gun towards the man's limp body, he continued. “Lover boy here, has a thing for you. I think you know this much. Anyways, I’d always thought he was on my side, one of my goons on the inside. He played a good game the son of a bitch.” Another kick to the shoulder, eliciting a louder groan. “But no, he wasn’t on my team, he was playing for detective Gordon! Ryder was the one to tip me off.” He growled. “He found his way into my inner circle at Arkham and climbed his way up.” Licking his lips the male threw his hands up. “Who do you think came up with the idea to stop your wedding!” Glancing back to Anderson, he spat. “But he was trying to stop me after things got bumpy, knowing that you didn’t call it off by my small gesture.” His brow furrowed. “He wanted to stop me from coming here, so I had my boys beat some sense into...well, before it was him we threatened to kill his family.” The man's tongue clicked. “Why are people such a sucker for relatives? Whatever, he seemed to learn his lesson, till our interview ended early and I found him in my cell, snooping!” Another whack to the arm, and Anderson had managed to roll to his side in pain. 

 

“Stop it!” Harley cried out. 

 

Advancing to her,he growled with his gun on her jaw. “Don’t you ever _shut up_!” Dropping the gun and pressing his own forehead into hers, he breathed. “And now, my dear, I’m afraid, it’s time for you to make another choice.” His hand reaching for his knife, he took a step back both weapons in each hand. “You can either, return to ordinary little life, of picking and prodding Gotham's finest scum brains, alone, for the rest of your life.” He raised both of his hands. “Or!” He cheered, and began to kneel down, crossing his arms with both weapons. “You can join me. We can be...we can become crime royalty. As, my Harlequin.” Lifting himself up from the floor, he offered her the knife, while the gun pointed to the door. “So, what’ll it be?, door number one, or door number two?” His hand wiggled with the knife. 

The two shared a moment's glance into the others eyes. Her had stopped crying. Lifting her hand she took the knife by the handle. His laugh echoed through the building. 

“Atta’ girl.” He offered his arm. “Shall we?” 

Harley took his arm, silently rose, and they began to walk away. But then he stopped. “Oh, wait here a moment.” 

The woman looked around quickly, wondering if now was a good time to escape, but he was quickly back, dragging along Anderson. He lifted the man up, and offered her the front of him. “I know it’s messy work, but do you mind? He’s kinda heavy…” 

Catching her reflection in the blade, Harley began to ponder if she could actually do this. She loved Anderson. Not, the way she loved...had, loved Guy, but, that didn’t substitute for her  _ killing _ a kind man. However, her arm was raising before she even knew it. Next, it was on his throat and she could hear his soft grunts. Was he pleading with her? Oh god, don’t do that.  _ Don’t do that! _ Closing her eyes she grabbed the knife into his throat and instantly felt the warm sticky blood on her hands, she pushed it swiftly along the base, as to end it for her and him quickly. 

‘I like it, I like it, I like it a lot.” She heard the clown mumble as she watched her friends blood run out and patter to the floor. 

Joker dropped him hard, and Harley heard a loud gasp and gurgle from Anderson. With her medical training, she could still save him, but the Joker was already had her by the arm and was pushing her out of that section of the warehouse, and onto another section.    
“Come on, we’re not done yet!” He cheered. 


	7. Torture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final installment!!

After hours of not only physical, but mental abuse, Harley wasn't very sure where her sanity sat, let alone her actual body. Joker had managed to drag her deeper into the abandoned building. She'd seen games, flashes of arcade games is what she saw as he lead her through. Where else would the joker set up a safe house other than an abandoned arcade? It would make her laugh, if she wasn’t so lucid. She’d been out for a while now. When she awoke, she was no longer being dipped into water, but strapped to a journey. She’d learned to not jerk or breath too quickly if she woke up in a different position. It drew his attention, and the girl would use some time to process and recover.

 

_ I’m Harleen Quinzell. I’m only twenty three. I was getting married.  _

 

_ The joker  _ killed _ my fiance.  _

 

Harley had to repeat these things to herself everytime she woke up. Even if they blurred together. She kept control over her breathing, thinking if she could at least hold onto something it could possibly help hold onto her sanity, if at least by the smallest string. 

 

“Ahhhh, goodie! She’s up!” 

 

Harley wasn’t sure if it was from the blow to the head she’d gotten, of if she was actually starting to descend when she heard his words echo three times after, each in varying pitches. Shaking her head to get a grip, he stopped her movement by her chin. This caused her to look him in the eye.

 

“Aw, don’t be so sad, you’re almost there dollface.” 

 

Harley grunted, his hold on her chin growing tighter. All she could taste in her mouth was iron, no doubt blood filing from the bash she’d taken to the nose or lip. As it built, all she wanted as to spit it into his eye, but she knew he’d only go more overboard on the torture. She swallowed slowly and watched him dead in the eye. 

 

Gritting her teeth, she got out. “Go.. to hell.” 

 

“Only if you do first my dear.” The clown laughed. Then rewarded her a kick to the chest, causing her and the chair she was bound to, to toss backward. 

 

She heard his grumbles and low growls as he paced. This made her smile inside, had the really though she’d be easier than this to break? Then, she could see his feet walking toward her, then felt them at the top of her head. As he grabbed all of her hair, and pulled her, and the chair up, she bit into her lip hard to not scream at the pain. Grinding her teeth, she took the blow and opened her eyes to watch him walk in front of her.

 

His head twitched and he licked at his lips, his hands as well beginning to twitch. All signs, of obvious and deep madness. She breathed in, he was pissed. Suddenly, he had produced a crowbar, and after a little teasing, by trailing it up her leg, past her joints and going a little past her skirt hem, he pulled it away and rested it on his shoulder and began to circle her. Her stomach dropped and her fingers curled over the arms of the chair. What was he going to do, what was he going to do? All blows up until that point had been by hand, not weapon. As he circled and she waited, her mind began to spin. Where were the good guys? The men she worked with? Wasn’t every cop in Gotham looking for her right now? Or hell even the Joker? Where were they all? Hell, she’d even take the Batman’s help at this point. If he was such a hero, where they hell was he?

 

As she took an inhale of breath as his footsteps halted, she braced for the impact. He swung the bar right into her head, all went black. 

 

_

 

“Doc, I don’t think she’s doing too well.” 

 

“What was that nurse?” 

 

“Our patient doesn’t look very good.” 

 

Harley’s hearing kicked in before her eyes started to flutter open. When they did, she was greeted to a bright white light above her. Her hand reacted, going to block the bright light, but when she jerked it, it stayed in place. Her eyes instantly shut again. 

 

“Ah, see, she’s just fine. Oh..no, come one…” 

 

What the…was she at a hospital? Had the batman...anyone come? 

 

“Wakey, wakey!” 

 

She felt a pat to the cheek, and then a harsh slap. Her eyes were quick to open, despite the light and tears threatening. 

 

“Good girl.” A head moved in the way of the light and slowly his clown face paint was visible. 

 

No, no! It was him. Of course it was him. She tried to speak, but noticed she had a gag over her mouth, she was completely restrained, but to what? Harley watched as he hovered over her. 

 

“I’ve been waiting for you to wake up.” He sighed. “We thought you might not.” 

 

We? She wanted to ask, but her face must have said everything, because he simply brought a gloved hand to her lips.

 

“Shhhh, it’s okay. You’re going to be fine.” 

 

Oh, if she could have bitten that finger. Quickly he had removed it and suddenly turned his back to her. She couldn’t see much because her head was so tight to whatever she was strapped to. Hearing beeps and a slow humm, she began to wiggle in worry.  He noticed, and spoke over his shoulder. 

 

“What did I say?” Joker huffed. “You’re going to be fine!” 

 

She winced as she heard his fist pound on something metal. Focusing on breathing, Harley tried to calm down. The worst he could do, would be to end up killing her. Right? Then, she noticed he began to turn, and she noticed he had something in his hands, but what…

 

As soon as she heard the humming grow closer, her body began to convulse more. It didn’t matter, the bounds on her were too tight, she barely wiggled. He was holding electric rods, something they had banned in the practice of medical practices for a while now. Chills went over her body as she recalled that they’d been highly restricted at arkham, and wondered just how the twisted clown had gotten his hands on the machine. 

 

“Dollface, please, calm down…” He charged the two ends by touching them together. “I’m not going to hurt chya’.”

 

Then, he made his move and as she felt a tingle rip through her whole body, she gritted her teeth and then passed out, again. 

 

“Shocking Therapy” as he’d referred to it, went on for another three intense hours. In the beginning he allowed her to pass out and recover, but then for amusement, he started to pick up the pace and forced her to wake again. Harley was a fighter, she constantly fought her whole life to not be pushed to the side in a job full of men trying to shut her down. Yet, despite all of this, she was on the cusp, of losing her sanity. 

 

That’s when she realized, she was no longer attached to the journey. She was sitting in a chair, untied. He was standing in front of her, smiling. 

 

“Theres my girl.” 

 

Harley was confused, but how could she not? Her mentality was hanging by a thin thread. She watched as he stepped forward and presented her a gun. Her eyes darted from the gun to him, from the gun to him. 

 

He nodded. “Go ahead. Shoot me.” 

 

She was weak, and it showed in her movements, as she shook her head. Her lip quivered. This upset him. He knelt down, placed the gun into her hands and pressed the barrel to his forehead. 

 

“ _ Shoot me _ !” He growled. 

 

Harley’s hands shook, not daring to make any sudden movements other than her muscles just giving up and shaking. Her eyeliner and mascara already stained on her cheeks, a few tears slid down. After a moment of nothing happening, the man growled once more and sprang up, taking the gun back. Her heart dropped into her stomach, why hadn’t she shot him! 

 

The male flipped the gun, and pointed to her. “Get up.” He waved the weapon about. “Get up!” 

 

Harley began to lift herself but halfway up, she fell back into the chair. She whimpered and she actually heard him sigh. Suddenly, she was scooped up and before she knew it, her arms were wrapped around his neck. She wouldn’t dare do anything with him so close, nor did she really enjoy being near him. As he carried her through the almost completely deteriorated factory building. She saw glimpses of stars in holes in the roof, her eyes closed, going in and out as they traveled somewhere deep into the building as the interior became less abandoned looking. 

 

As her mind reeled, she came in and out of reality. She caught small glimpses of things here and there. Random doorways, holes in the walls, things on the ground, his face, his breath. Then, she heard him, trying to speak to her. She woke, and then felt her feet touch the ground. They were in front of a staircase. Harley went to turn to look at him, but he already had the gun pressed to her back. Without words, she found the strength to make it up the fire-escape-esque stairs. Finally, they make it to a tall balcony. She looked around, finally noticing the tall vats of strange liquids. Her head turned and looked to the man, question all over her face. He just smiled, more than what was painted on his face. 

 

“You’ve proved yourself well.” He began. “You’re stubborn, strong willed.” With a wave of his gun, he laughed. “I tried everything to break you, I came close, and I think I’m almost there.” 

 

Harley stood there, the edge of the balcony in her peripheral. 

 

“Now, would you die for me?” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

Her answer not only surprised herself, but Harley was fairly sure it sparked some alarm in his features. 

 

“Yes.” He recovered, nodding slowly. “But will you live for me?”  

 

Before Harley would respond, he had spoken up again. “And, don’t answer because you think this will save you. Dollface, if you accept, you’re going straight to hell.” 

 

With this, Harley just slowly nodded her head. Giving a grin, he presented with his hand a small tube. Her brow furrowed and he shrugged, offering it to her. 

 

“A gift.” 

 

She peered over it and picked it up. Lipstick. Opening the tube, she noticed the bright red color, similar to what was on his lips. Understanding, she twisted it up and in a few sweeps, covered her lips. 

 

“Good, good.” He mumbled and then took her hand, leading her to the ledge. He promoted with his eyes. 

 

Harley understood what she had to do, she’d tried enough stalling, if someone was to save her last minute, their minute was up. She turned, her back facing the harsh, colorful chemicals below. In a deep breath, she let her body give way. As she fell, her eyes looking for his colorful face, she noticed the it was quickly gone. Had this all been to make it look like she’d killed herself? Or had he meant to jump with her? Thoughts, regrets, and memories flashed as her speed gained, and then her body was submerged into the tall vat. Just as Harley accepted her fate, another body joined her, and quickly pulled her to the surface. 

 

As the sun began to rise, rays of sun pouring in from various cracks, so did a new woman from the mysterious vat of harsh chemicals. The mad man’s melodious laugh filled the room.

  
“We’ll call you, Harley Quinn.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU. Thank you so much for reading this. I have loved Harley and Joker for years and I wrote this long ago and just fixed it up. I never thought it'd gain any attention. Thanks for sticking around and reading every time I post. This one took so long because I was getting back into the swing of school, I apologize, but I hope it was worth the wait. Again, THANK YOU, I had so much fun re-writing this.


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